Legalise the necessary evil

It might sound absurd but I want certain customs to get legalized despite them being immoral and unlawful. I want their legalization not because I espouse them or they benefit a certain section of society but for they will make life a lot easier in India. I want legalization of dowry; yes I want proper laws that should define how much dowry should be given? The government should set up a committee that would evaluate the groom’s value with respect to his qualifications, job, social status and bride’s competency.

I am fed-up of the pseudo-morality of our society. With advent of education and women as career-person it was anticipated that the custom would have a natural death. But so is not the case? The law treats dowry as a crime but we cannot defy that we have heard or participated in the elaborate discussions on the modes and dates of the payments to be given or taken. Each one of us is aware of its existence and practice, then why do we shirk away from its responsibility. The cases registered under section 498A are rarely in the event of demand of dowry, but more in instances of an increasing demand than the stipulated sum. Therefore, in such cases the dowry is previously practiced it is the inability of the two parties to reach a mutual conclusion.

Government can facilitate by plugging the involved negotiations, it can assess and predetermine the dowry. It will be a great help for the bride’s parents, where there only concern will be to accumulate the sufficient amount to get their daughter married. They would need not to shift their budgets as per the groom’s family’s mood swings. I only want the existing business to get more proficient, legalised  and professional. Another important point is, the dowry should be made mandatory, as our society loves to flaunt its generosity than practicing it. People often try to prove their innocence by portraying that the dowry is a willing gift and it is immaterial to them. A correct assessment by the government will honour the deep-rooted tradition. As all the government’s efforts to eradicate it have proved otiose, so legalise it.

By saying so I don’t want to debase the people struggling for the abolition of this practice. People believing dowry against their principles will device ways to neutralize it. However, it is disheartening to see that young, educated men still dodge the questions on dowry. They either give their mute support reflecting it as their parents will or their resistance is smothered to prove their obedience to their parents. Such unscrupulous traditions are endorsed by the affluent for their joy, but their extravagant affair dazzles commoners who imitate the same. Importantly arranged marriages are more prone to dowry than their counterparts. This denotes that our senior generation is the prime benefactor of this tradition.

I find myself at loss for words when I see the respected, educated, experienced and suaver (suaver because the young are considered belligerent who have less respect for the traditions) people propounding such shameful practices. It reduces my respect for them. It is very embarrassing when strangers express amazement on the arranged Hindu marriage and then impinge on the exploiting dowry system. All my explanations of the Vedic mantras and vows of seven births are belittled when I cannot explain the rationality of dowry. Besides, in spite of being educated and respected it sabotages my self-respect because I am a woman.

I feel sympathy for the parents who owing to their limited resources prefer to bargain their daughter’s education for her dowry. This practice forces people to get embroiled in corrupt practices. Can anybody teach how a girl should face her parents who in spite of giving her same upbringing as their son paid the price of her being their daughter, not a son? By legalizing the tradition it will marginally ease the trauma of getting their daughters married.

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